I just got beck from India. I went with three awesome people, and God taught me so much about every piece of life.

My Pergatory

I have been investigating the orthodox Church very avidly since I have moved back home. I have to tell you that I sort of wish that I had remained ignorant right now. This sounds like a horrible standpoint to most people and especially the Orthodox faithful, but i can't help but feel like ignorance would definitely be bliss at this point. There is a wealth of information, tradition, and spirituality that is undeniably beautiful in the Orthodox church that the protestant church has ignored and these are the things that draw me in. I sat and spoke of these things with Father Jim today. This was great but also very frustrating to realize that I am ignorant and very arrogant when it comes to the ways that I view God and the church. I got to go up on the scaffolding in St. George church here and see the paintings that are almost finished and it was very powerful, and i could help but feel like I got a little taste of the divine. Needless to say I thought I had it all figured out....I'm wrong. Both sides have incredible beauties and i just have to sift through the rubble and surface the foundations to really get to know myself greater within the Church.

One thing is for sure though. The Orthodox Church knows Christian art...

I am in my city library right now. The central valley has many drawbacks but one of them does not happen to be the county library system. It is incredible. I can request a book, CD, or DVD from a county thrice over online. This is nice because it takes a while for them to deliver it to the library closest to you so it is a lot like getting mail...and I love getting mail. So I just requested like 3,600 Neil Young and Paul Simon CD's. Who knows when they will get here but I am excited to receive them.

For now:

Old Town New View

So I am officially moved into Fresno, CA. It is a very strange feeling doing something you had never thought you would. I never thought i would live with my parents or in Fresno ever again. It's a bit like the feeling where you see a shadow passing by and you are almost positive that no matter where you move your head that shadow is going to collide with it and destroy your brains, but the tense feeling fades to relief and that new found relief leads to a feeling of stupidity. I actually believed that I was going to move home and be knocked unconscious immediately. I had such little faith at the end of a faith filled situation and I am ashamed to say that I steel feel like I am in the blurry stage of exiting a tunnel in broad daylight. It is almost impossible to put your finger exactly on the feeling but I can tell you that you should never say never to God. You challenge Him, even unknowingly, and He is going to kick you in the rear. I am in an old situation with an entirely new twist and it is terrifying but i can tell you that i am now excited. I thank God every day for the life I have had and the support given through my friends in Riverside, and I am asking Him now to help me thrive.

I'd like to share with you now a passage from a book I have now read through twice since i have been home that deals largely with the theme of help. I took from this book many things but in this transitional time in my life it brought to life in me that I need to want life and to move in a positive direction. I don't know if you will understand this but I feel good knowing that it is out there. It is the closing paragraph of "A River Runs Through It" by Norman Maclean, and it is a somber paragraph but it was strangely comforting to me.

Eventually, all things merge into one, and a river runs through it. The river was cut by the world's great flood and runs over rocks from the basement of time. On some of the rocks are timeless raindrops. Under the rocks are the words, and some of the words are theirs.
I am haunted by waters.

A Different Perspective

Did you ever wonder what the world would look like if we viewed it through infrared eye's? I didn't. until today. Here's a different perspective on the same stuff.









Kinda nuts huh?

This man's paintings makes me feel so much more than any other painter has.

Will you tell your children about Santa Claus?

Many of the people that I have talked to about this have asked, "Why not?" Well I will tell you why I am considering not telling my children about Santa Claus. I think Santa is the reason our holiday of Christmas has been bastardized in the eyes of American Christianity. We have morphed the idea of who Christ and Saint Nic are into this materialistic self-serving character that has erased the real meaning of this great holiday. Now Christmas has become a day when those have money spend wildly on each other, and those who don't have money dread the disappointment that their children will feel when they tell them they can't afford gifts this year. Our children now expect gifts instead of being thankful for what they have first. Because of Santa kids can't understand why we give gifts. It isn't even a cultural experience anymore. No one knows why we buy Christmas trees and stockings and give gifts to each other.

This is why i propose that we tell our children about Jesus Christ and the story about the real Saint Nic and his generous contributions to the poor. If we do enough of this i think our children will begin to see what the real meaning of this holiday is. How this time of the year is in fact the celebration of giving and the beginning of our souls revolution. When we explain these things I think, with time, our children will see how we have simply adapted Santa from a non-christian vantage so that others who do not believe can join in celebration too. Maybe I'm crazy but i think it can work. Lets make Christmas cultural.

On a lighter note, please listen/watch this...